It has become so difficult to write anything. I guess my words have begun to fail me. Haven't been so silent before, silent to myself to begin with. I think I have stopped talking to myself, the usual fight of what I am, and what should be... haven't felt so speechless and inexpressive.
A single life shows you everything that you could think of.. everything you thought is not for you.. everything you thought you never deserved or may be you did! One single life with so many changes, complex situations, challenges, unchanged damages, broken dreams and the wild wants...One life to live it all and a lifetime to deal with.
I don't know where in this maze am I stuck... I don't think I even care to know now.. How does it matter, I feel stuck anyway! Everyone dreams of a perfect life.. a perfect memory a perfect moment.. what about those who don't dream of any of that? Someone like me, who wanted to live with surprises.. ya even the nasty ones..
I think when you don't dream of your prefect life, you may end up attracting more nasty than good surprises.. or may be you pass through the heaviest fire because you become the chosen one...ya right "The Chosen One".
So who is this chosen one.. and why is he the chosen one? No, i am not going to bestow some gyan of positivism.. I wish I was that positive to have any such gyan to emit. Or may be not.. I don't really need to be so idealistic anyway.
Chosen one becomes the one who sees his life twist and change every moment, with no happiness to stay longer, or sadness to end soon. Chosen one becomes the person who strives to make a difference everyday, and fails to make any. Or, feels hasn't made any.
He becomes the person who expects a lot from his own self. Hard work, harder effort, genuine feelings become his conscious traits. And the harder he works, the longer it takes for him to reap the fruits. The harder he strikes, the chances of his failure increase.
The chosen one, sleeps every night, hoping for a better tomorrow, after having pondered over enough about the present and the past. He strives to fight every battle he has to undertake, with self or others. He tries to live, to love, like the first time ever, every time... he says what he feels and feels what he says.. he think to talk and sometimes thinks after talking :)
For the many things he feels he has done just perfect, end up featuring in the list of mistakes in his life... for every moment of passion he expresses in the name of belief, faith or love.. feature as illogical in the list of many.
The chosen one, can live in the name of love, can give all he has.. in the same sinful name of love.. can lose all he ever possessed or gain everything he never wanted.. he lives for what his heart makes him feel... mind does not take the lead.. mind does not take nothing.. :) or may be.. sometimes.. something!
The little wish of heart, ends up becoming his reason to live.. the smile of someone important, becomes his agenda.. falls asleep, dreaming he lived his happiness, in the happiness of his beloved and sheds tears over his beloved's sadness.. he is one with people.. his vision can penetrate, deeper.. he can see, what others don't or what others don't want to... He says the heartfelt..
No doubt the chosen one goes through the roughest touch of God, destiny and ill fate at times, but he still wishes to live that beautiful life with surprises.. ya the nasty ones too..
Sometimes, in my solemn heart I feel, I am the chosen one.. sometimes.. in your solemn heart, you may feel that you are the chosen one too..... the fact remains.. that the chosen one passes through the heaviest fire, runs through the worst, in others vocabulary... in his own.. its just his life.
Safely dug somewhere are his dreams.. his child like tales and his silly imperfections.. may be it is this cocktail, that makes a chosen one... may be it is this undying need to be alive that makes a chosen one... may be it is his failures and his constant effort to strive hard, that makes the chosen one... yes, that same you.. and that same me, make the chosen one!
