Obvious Mess!

Oh! heart what are you getting into?

You know it already...

How this begins and what it ends. 

Dismiss.

That door.

The closed one.
The deaf one.
The heartless one.

No,
I am not knocking on you..
You have been closed,
too long.

Hold yourself hard.
Harder.
Grow more..
More heartless,
More cold.

Dismiss me,
Again.
A hundred times.
May be more.

One day,
Someday,
You will see the shiny sun.
Over that inviting horizon.
Compelling you to embrace,
Accept and endure.

That moment,
That time,
When you step out..
of your nothingness,
and your darkness induced ego,
towards that brightness.
I will see you there.

I will recognize you.
Will even smile at you.

Yes,
With a smile.
I will dismiss you..
Then,
Once and for all.   

Red.

She was in love with the color red. Like a red flower she would bloom in every row of beauty. Everything she owned needed to be red. The perfect dress, the perfect setting, the perfect pain, everything. It was an obsession of a kind. A meaningless association, gripping her heart, mind and soul. Like, red was the color she owned, like it belonged to her, like she felt complete with it. It was a strange bond. 

Often lost in her own, she would think, what if the whole world was just red...all the greens with a tinge of red, sky so blue with a shimmer of red, the browns with a flirty little sprinkle of red, the orange with a monopoly of red, the pinks with a blush of red. It would be so prefect, so beautiful, so complete. 

She did not have many friends, no one really cared to befriend her either. Her lonely self, dug deep in the world of her imagination, which was busy, noisy and consuming. She spoke to herself often and that was the only conversations she would have. Estranged from the world, yet close to her true color, she lived an anxious life.  

A life that was forsaken with an incomplete relationship. Forsaken with an endless wait. Just, forsaken. 

The red lamps street, where she saw him last. Her eyes glued to it forever. She filled them with a picture so detailed that it would scare the world if she`d even care to explain. 

It was here, where she shot him. It was this moment where she saw her love, her only love, her truest feelings for the last time, ever. Yes, she killed him. 

It was the last time she walked this lane. With red lamps. She was attached to them all. That road where he lay dead. She looked at him and then her hands, drowned in the color of his blood. Her Kohl socked eyes - dry, scattered and lost. There he lay, the only possession of her life. And this time round too, it is she who had lost him, forever. 

A handsome man, with deep feelings. His voice to die for, his perfume so intoxicating, he was the man  who loved every bit of her. Even her obsessions.  Back then, her obsession was just him. 

There was a tiny little space in the huge world that belonged to them. Sunk deep in the river of love, cleansed with true feelings. It was unreal. 

From that door he gently walked out once and came back a criminal. Possessed with a strange poison called revenge. He would kill anything that came his way. It was never the same again. 

In the name of an obsessive faith he killed, in the name of a shallow belief he killed. In his blinded kaya he killed. She lost him back then again. He was hers, but not really. He loved her, but not really. He lived with her, but not really. 

She knew it was time. Her every attempt to save him, failed. She called him to the red lamps lane. The lane that was their favorite. She shot him, in his head and then blew few more bullets into his veins. His blood gushed outside of his body. The only color she saw remained. 

His memory was what she to live with. For her it was RED.

The only prayer.

Inspiration, please find me. Lost is what I feel without you. Insignificant and empty. Soulless and restless too. 

Let the light shine in my heart. Let it form words, and sentences I never imagined before. Let that sour writer`s soul rule over mine and craft magical nothings that touch the heart. 

Let those secrets out that form beautiful observations. Something everyone resonates to. Something not many understand and something that remains forever, carved somewhere in oblivion. 

Silence

There are times when every thing around you goes silent. The social networking sites, people, Gtalk, mobile phone, music,wind, sea. Just about everything.
And you wonder why?

The change.

The breeze was at its nastiest best and her hair continued to be out of control. By the sea, she stood alone, late at night, looking at the sky. She wore a white gown, and she let the sand touch it, soil it, add its own color to it. Everything around her seemed to be having a conversation and she on the other hand was silent. She is used to coming to this place often. For peace, for freedom and to witness the romance of the sea and the moonlight. 

She loved freedom, because it never came easy. She often greeted it with a flirtatious smile. And then craved for it all the time.

She loved to travel, and was addicted to change. She could just about go anywhere alone. She pretended to need no one, and be perfectly happy with her nomadic life. Like an aimless kite, she would fly away. Travel, explore and discover. With a smile on her face, she would be one with nature. She had chosen this life for herself. She liked being lost. She was lost.

Lost is denial, lost in dreams and everything void of reality. She never understood rules, regulations, may be she just never wanted to. She was careless. She was carefree. She was free.

Why would she even care about anyone anyway? Her childhood found maturity rule over it. She learnt to be a lady before she could be a girl. She learnt to let go before she could ever have anything to hold on to. She was a slave. A slave to her wishes. A slave to love. A slave to his love. And he, was a player.

He loved her, or may not. But he showed it more often than said it. He would kiss her goodnight, every night. Stay by her side. Let her be and be with her. Be away and be with her. Be together and be with her. He was a charmer. And she just knew how to love. He knew what she liked. She knew how he liked it. He knew how to fake it. And she never learnt to read it. Together they sang melodies of love.

He came like breeze from no where, and settled in even before she knew, he was a part of her life. He was an achiever, but only in her eyes. He had an intoxicating smile, and a towering personality. He was simple, yet complicated. He was true, yet a liar. He was intelligent, yet a pretender. He was a perfectionist and yet so messed up. He loved himself the most. And she loved him the most.

The love tale lasted 5 years. She changed. He changed. She changed for him. He changed for him too. She gave all she had. He took all she had. Shared they nothing, yet, everything.

Like a fleeting moment, she knew it was time. One fine day, she got up and walked away. He waited all evening, but he was alone. He waited all night, but he was alone. He waited for 2 years, and alone.

The change he brought in her, let her go away from him. She suddenly realized freedom. She was free. Free of him, free of his memories, free of expectations. And he was free too.

She stops by the sea often, to witness the romance of the moonlight and the sea, still passes a silent smile and makes an innocent wish, at every shooting star. He taught her independence, freedom, and to love herself. He learnt nothing, gave nothing and missed everything. Above all, he missed himself the most.

Forever tale

Her happiness. That's what he asked for. 'Given' is what she said. He sat there in front of her for a few minutes in shock. He kept looking at her. Staring into her face. Like he was looking at a stupid in love sitting there. But she could not care. Her eyes were wide. Her curly hair messy. Her black gown fit her just too well. And she looked fearless. Her lips dry, her confidence on a high. She looked at him with euphoria in her eyes. 

For a bit, he got lost. As if he was juggling between the right and the wrong. In his head, he took steps forward and backwards many a times. He looked silent, but was busy talking to self. His tall personality, could never hide the innocence he held in his dark brown eyes. His grey coat still looked prim and proper, and his hair so well groomed. That was his style. But he was lost. Lost in time. Lost in words. Lost in her eyes. 

Suddenly the door slammed cos of the wild wind outside. I think it is going to rain she said. I don`t know he replied. She looked at the man, who she believed knew it all. She then whispered, I was talking about the rain! 

He suddenly got up and left the room in silence. Her eyes followed him till the end, he did not look back. She knew he was gone.

Two months later, she woke up to a loud sound of lightening, and it rained. She got out into the terrace, drenched herself and cried. She said to herself, I hope you know I am waiting.

Four years passed. She hadn't heard from him. In her heart she knew she was waiting. She knew he had gone only to return. Suddenly she hears the door bell ring. She gets a courier. The letter was addressed to her and was from him. The pages were plenty, but empty. He has nothing to say. Even after four years, he has nothing to say? she shouted to herself in loneliness. 

Her happiness is what he had asked for, and 'given' is what she had said. She could not go back on her words. And he could not come back to her. 

Six years, two months later. She woke up to a beautiful sunny day. She hadn't forgotten about him but promised to never look back that way. She looked out of her window, which opened into the green mountains. She knew, she was some where else. Her memory was leaving her. And she was letting it go. She hung her hair from the window, and let the sun kiss her face. She smiled to herself and then cried. She felt lost, more than ever. 

Suddenly she hears the door bell ring. She expects no one. And nothing. Very reluctantly she opens the door. No, it wasn't him. It wasn't even the courier. It was a small boy holding up a rose. She smiled and asked about his whereabouts. The little boy said I am back. She was surprised and shocked at the same time. Who was that child? and where was he back from? The little boy said, your happiness is all he asked for, and I know your answer was 'given'. 

Shell shocked, she runs to her beloveds house only to learn he was lost during the war. The army couldn't find their fellow soldier, to bring him back home. The little boy was his brother, who lived with him. 

They both walked back together. She wasn't sad. She was happy. Someone suddenly killed her loneliness, she was glad the boy was related to him.

Today, while she continues to bring up his brother, in her heart she waits for him. She knows he will be back, some how. And the door bell rings....

She had her ways.

He sat there in silence. Like a storm had just kissed him. He was less silent more still. His eyes spoke a story which his dry lips could never narrate. His hair seemed rough and scattered. That was never his style. There was an open  book on the table, of which the wind generously blew away the pages.

His silence now started to trouble her. And she asked the obvious. He looked at her and then looked away. She was at her patient best. She went in and came back with some coffee. He looked at her again only to look away.

While she placed one mug on the table and held the other. She looked concerned. He then dug himself into the book lying on the table and stopped by a page.

He looked at her. She looked back attentively. He put before her a line written by his beloved. He found that book years after her death. The lines read,"for every time you lay in silence, remember I will come to you in the warmth of that sunlight. And if it ain't sunny, remember me as a beam in that sparkling night."

They both sat quiet starring at the sky. It was a sunny day and after a while he said," those were her last words for me, and I find them today, on a sunny afternoon so bright". She knew not what to say. She could feel his pain. She gave him a warm hug.

When he tried to embrace it he found himself alone in the balcony. He then in a deep voice said,"and she had her strange ways".